10 Hilarious Roasts After Man Boldly Claims He’s an ‘Alpha Male’
Every day, people craft narratives about who they are. While most paint themselves in a positive light, occasionally someone makes a declaration that’s not just bold, but bewildering. Imagine someone likening themselves to the fiercest of wild animals, asserting dominance in the human jungle. On a popular online platform, users were posed with a scenario: how would they react if a man confidently labeled himself as an “alpha male”? The responses? Let’s just say they’re as fierce as the claim itself.
1. Game of Thrones
By far, people agreed that the wisdom of Tywin Lannister applied in this situation. One example was when someone said, “Straight Tywin Lannister: Any man who must say ‘I am the King’ is no true King.” Just like you don’t choose your nickname, you can’t decide if you are a leader in the species Canis lupus.
2. Keep an Eye on Him
Some reacted with disbelief saying, “Whoa, I didn’t know these guys existed outside of the internet.” It’s a good point. Who expects someone to make this kind of claim outside of a YouTube video or post on Twitter? The second part of this response is to ensure that they keep an eye on the person making the statement and “probably look over to see if he will do anything funny.”
3. Time for an Eyeroll
This one might be more of an involuntary response, but more than one person stated that it was very likely that they would roll their eyes if they heard this statement. The discussion drifted towards speculation about how intense the eye-rolls would be. “How far can I roll my eyes back after practicing all these years?” Another said, “My eyes be rolling like a slot machine.”
4. Whatever You Do, Don’t Laugh
Trying to keep from busting up laughing is hard. It’s no less challenging in real life. You see actors helplessly trying to keep the laughter in during behind-the-scenes footage and crying with the effort. One person said, “In-person: Don’t laugh, don’t laugh, don’t laugh.” Fair warning, if you say something this funny, expect people to chuckle.
5. Get Ready to Rumble
However, no one likes to be laughed at this way, especially incredibly egocentric men. If you do laugh, you should prepare for the person to react negatively. This forum member was realistically ready for anything. He said, “He’s gonna want to fight when I laugh at him.”
6. Been There, Done That
Some people have encountered this situation before and are ready for a complex comeback. An astute commenter stated that they ask these guys where their pack is. A few men responded with the quip, “I’m like a lone wolf.” The commenter then informs them that they are lone wolves because their wolf pack shuns them, and a lone wolf usually dies of starvation since wolves are pack animals who work together to survive. That is typically the end of the conversation.
7. A Discredited Theory
Several people pointed out that the theory that this term comes from the work of a scientist, David Mech, who coined the term in his book in 1970 about wolves in captivity. Then, after observation of wolves in the wild, he recanted the idea and tried to stop the publisher from continuing to publish his book and spoke out, trying to correct the popular belief.
8. Alpha Doesn’t Always Mean What You Think It Does
In computer science, when something is called alpha, that usually means that it is the first try and usually not the best version of a program or system. Alpha programs in computer development are generally full of bugs and problems. They are programs that lack appropriate testing and are not exactly top-of-the-line.
9. Experience Speaks Out
A nearly sixty-year-old man had the last word on the subject. He noted that most of the time, as he observed, it was not the men claiming to be alpha who are showboats with big cars and who are confrontational are the ones who lack genuine self-esteem. In his estimation, the “true alpha” is the quiet father of four who cares for and protects his family or the military veteran who doesn’t brag about his achievements or act aggressively.
10. Who?
A series of people in the forum responded with logic. It was a hilarious response that paid to the entire idea of the alpha male. When confronted with that statement, the answer is, “Oh, you mean a car salesman?” Another added, “I know that guy. His dad owns the dealership.”
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This thread inspired this post.
