Life is rife with pitfalls that can diminish physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. It isn’t always good to have tried everything — some things are best left alone. A recent online discussion allows Internet users to share some of their proudest things not to have done — ever.
1. Breaking a Phone Screen
Some people claim never to have dropped their phone, which I find baffling; dropping one’s phone is unavoidable, surely. In any case, a proud section of society has never caused a scratch on their black mirror — I will assume they have had the same indestructible Nokia since the late ‘90s.
2. Breaking a Bone
I am a proud member of the Unbroken Bones Club, though it wasn’t through a lack of trying. Years of falling out of trees, skateboarding, and unintended parkour incidents all tried their best, but to no avail. There are even pages devoted to the unbroken bone phenomenon — some people must just have dense bones.
3. Not Stealing
One particularly honest reflection comes from an ex-substance abuser who claims they never stole from family or friends to feed their habit. One must ask whether this is an achievement, but from anecdotal recollections, it may be. Losing control of your physical self while maintaining your honesty is virtuous in some ways.
4. Not Getting Arrested
It all depends on who you ask, but not being arrested is still — for most people, at least — admirable in some quarters. Then again, if you were to speak to the current stream of SoundCloud rappers, the inverse scenario is likely to result. Getting arrested and having your mugshot published may be seen as a badge of honor in modern times — just ask the 45th president.
5. Not Dying
Yes, many of us have not yet made this mistake. Sadly, the risk is there every day. Whether you are an influencer climbing skyscrapers, one of those Portuguese big-wave surfers, or that person texting while crossing an intersection, dying is never far away. Thankfully, preventive measures, such as bright signs and headlamps, are in place to aid us in our living quest.
6. Not Keeping Up With the Kardashians
In the early millennium, reality TV planted its flag directly into the human psyche, evidenced dramatically by Big Brother, The Apprentice, and those pesky Kardashians. Having been married to someone who used to watch the show, I am ashamed not to be in this gang. There are Amazonian tribes who have gone through life never knowing who Kim Kardashian is, which brings me great comfort.
7. Running Out of Gas
There isn’t much to elaborate on when you have never run out of gas — your journey continues as normal without a story to tell. The inverse is more interesting: seeing your gasoline depleted is a character-building experience, especially in foul weather. For instance, you may meet a friendly samaritan or come close to a sticky end (see: Not Dying).
8. Not Having Overweight Luggage
We’ve all been there: what I like to call “The sprawl of shame.” You forgot to weigh your suitcase at home, and now, here you are with your luggage spread across the check-in floor, as pitying glances come from other travelers treated to the contents of your packing. Astonishingly, some astute humans are beyond reproach in the travel arena.
9. Not Cheating on a Board Game
I will never believe this assertion, especially if it comes from my son during a Monopoly match. However, some commendable humans play by the book in all life’s endeavors. These gracious creatures would never contemplate cheating at Scrabble; I would say that if you don’t cheat in Scrabble, you’re not playing the game correctly.
10. Not Using Twitter (Now X)
Those who have never used Twitter — now X, but formerly Twitter — are missing out on a never-ending stream of fun. This choice is probably for the best; if users aren’t careful, logging onto the website can be a grating, mind-altering journey through the worst that humankind has to offer.
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