Being married to a doctor can be challenging, especially when they work long hours and have a demanding schedule. On the nights when they have to be called away, the timing oftentimes makes things difficult. It is no small task to maintain such a relationship.
Maintaining a healthy relationship can be tricky, but with the right approach and understanding, it’s definitely possible to make it work. In this piece, we see a couple who are forced to come to terms with this.
The Doctor’s Appointment
At 33, OP is pregnant for the first time, eight months in, and almost ready to give birth. With all of the preparations being made and her body constantly changing and preparing for the child’s arrival, OP needs all the support she can get and wants to be with her husband during this period.
However, her husband is a hospitalist who works very long hours each day and is barely ever home. He often works for sixteen hours a day, and his hospital is about an hour away, so by the time he’s back home, she is probably asleep or already preparing to do something else.
Not everyone can handle such a thing; being away from the one you love for so long, especially considering he works seven days a week. It can be stressful and make a person feel lonely and sad. Considering that she is pregnant, it would probably hurt even more.
But she loves her husband, as they have been together since high school. She’s grown accustomed to the life and is quite happy with him. But with her expected date of delivery getting closer and closer, she needs help around the house, as she has been placed on bed rest until she gives birth.
She Needs Help
Even on the shorter days when he comes home, her husband spends most of the time sleeping and resting from work. He’s very passionate about his work, which is commendable, but with her date approaching, she needs someone more active around the house to help her with chores and other things.
Since she could no longer handle things at home all by herself, she decided to go over to her mom’s place and stay there until she gave birth. She needed the help, as her husband was rarely home, and things were getting more challenging for her. OP needed someone on standby when she showered, and did not want to put her husband through that strain.
When she told her husband about it, he was quite upset and said he didn’t want her going. He explained that despite his many hours, he likes to come home to his wife. She replied, asking him to take a paid leave till the end of the pregnancy. Otherwise, she would have to leave and go either way.
With the ultimatum put down, her husband got upset, saying she couldn’t make him choose between those things. He explained that his work was important; while he could take shorter days, he couldn’t just pack up shop.
He had a fair argument, but his wife needs him, and it’s only fitting that he stays home with her, especially at such a crucial point in her life. As a doctor, he’d be in the best position to give her all the assistance she would need.
She told him she needed him to make a choice because, just like his patients, she needed him, too. Her husband thinks it’s unfair for her to give him an ultimatum like that, but she believes she’s done the right thing.
What People Think
One user believes OP made the right choice, as expectant mothers need support regardless. Here’s what they said,
“NTA. You’re on bed rest for a reason, and overdoing it is dangerous to you and your unborn child. You need support. Go to your mother’s. Your husband can come to see you there. At this point, the baby comes first, well before your husband’s feelings, and he might as well get on board with that because I suspect parenthood is going to be a pretty big shock for him.”
Another user in a similar situation believes her husband won’t take a leave to be with her, as he has other priorities.
“My husband promised the same thing and used very little of his paid leave. He has so much paid holiday and sick leaves that he donates leaves to others and has to use them or lose them at the end of every year. They allow rollover, but he has exceeded the limit. My husband loves his job and will work all day if he could. Thus, she should go to her mom’s.”
Do you think OP was right to make him choose? What would you have done in her situation?
This article was produced and syndicated by Hello Sensible.
This thread inspired this post.