Am I Wrong For Expecting 17-Year-Old Daughter to Cook for the Entire Family?
Cooking is one basic survival skill that is more essential than most. It sucks to have a stocked-up kitchen, but you can’t do anything more than stare at all the foodstuff wistfully while you stuff your mouth with bread because you can’t cook.
To this kind of person, someone that can cook appears superior, and even the simplest meal they cook make them seem like one hot-stuff, first-class chef. The one with zero knowledge of cooking doesn’t know any better, do they?
This story centers on a man and his stepdaughter and, of course, food, the way to the common man’s heart.
Dad Thinks Daughter Is “Phenomenal Cook”
Remember I said people who don’t know how to cook see others who can as culinary gods? It may seem funny, but it’s true.
OP calls his 17-year-old stepdaughter a “phenomenal cook,” highlighting her superb specialties: pasta sauces, baking, and imported seasoning…? I have no idea what that means. But, no judgment.
The thing is, only she gets to enjoy her phenomenal dishes as she only cooks for herself. When he asks her to cook for the family, it’s no problem, but that only happens on rare occasions. When they are all busy and need to do “DIY dinner” and can’t all sit around the table, the scent of her delicious homemade garlic pesto or vegan teriyaki is all that fills the air.
Writing this, I can almost feel OP’s pain. Smelling it but not tasting it is a unique kind of pain everyone can relate to. OP finds it very irritating. What a tease!
The family gets her the ingredients she uses, yet, she makes meals and never shares them with anyone. Putting it that way, I can understand why he would feel upset.
But cooking should never be a responsibility, in my opinion.
Why Can’t She Cook For The Family?
His stepdaughter’s solo meals were about to change when he asked her if she could start making dinner for all of them more frequently. Or maybe not.
She refused the offer and even got annoyed. She was drowning with schoolwork, her internship, and commissions as a talented digital artist. That already sounds like a lot to deal with.
She added that she couldn’t babysit them just because they “never learned how to cook.” Ouch. Her dinner preparations were treats for herself when she felt good. How could he expect her to do that every night?
The way OP sees it, if she’s doing it for herself, why can’t she do it for the rest of them?
Angry Response
After she angrily denied his request, he asked her to do the dishes and go to her room. So, she did. And since she stormed into her room, OP has yet to see her.
His wife thinks he was out of line, but he doesn’t think so. He said, “She lives under my roof and doesn’t pay rent, and she’s already cooking every night for herself anyway.”
Still, I guess a small part of him is thinking his wife may be right because he presented the case to social media’s court of public opinion. Spoiler: the jury is not on his side.
Should 17-Year-Old Be Expected to Cook for Entire Family?
u/MeanestGoose stayed true to their name and commented what could have been snarky lines on Mean Girls.
“YTA. Why is a minor child cooking every night for herself in the first place? She does have a full-time job – school. Plus, a part-time job and an internship. And she is a child. Get in the kitchen, dude.”
“And he has the guts to say ‘she lives under my roof.’ Yeah, dude, she’s a minor, that’s how things work most times. That’s why I moved out at 14 though so I wouldn’t have to live with these types of people,” u/blacksparrow_r added.
What cracked me up the most were these comments about her cooking:
u/Dude-Duuuuude said, “It was the stir fry for me. Stir fry is quite possibly one of the easiest things to make! Grab a pan, add some oil, heat it up, and throw in basically anything you want. If you can make grilled cheese, you can make stir fry.”
Someone replied to this dude’s comment: “And carrying on about the smell of her garlic pesto – pesto is like 4 ingredients shoved in a blender. Your cat could trip in the kitchen and make it by accident.”
Your Turn
Back to the main subject, I think he made a mistake by suggesting that she would cook for the entire family. She’s only a minor. You could learn how to cook whole meals on YouTube in a few minutes.
Better still, he could hire a cook if cooking puts too much stress on him and his wife. What do you think? Should she be expected to cook for the entire family or do they need to learn how to cook for themselves?
This article is inspired by the internet and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of Hello Sensible. You can read the original thread here.
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