10 Supposedly “Normal” Couple Things That Completely Shocked These Women
Sometimes people mistake personal experiences for normalcy, especially without experiencing or witnessing a healthy relationship. So it’s surprising when minor things that used to cause battles receive no drama. Here are some experiences that women found shocking in healthy relationships.
1. Going Out With Friends
A few people were surprised that hanging out with friends did not raise any relationship issues. “Wild” is how one person describes the fact that they do not need to ask permission or beg for forgiveness.
Another individual did not understand how their partner did not harass them with “50 texts” and calls whenever they went out with friends. Going out with friends is not a colossal betrayal where it’s between your friend and partner. In a healthy, trusting relationship, there is no ultimatum.
2. No Eggshells Unless You Broke Eggs
Dreading your partner’s mood and watching every word or move you make is not part of a healthy relationship. Some people agree that relationships are more fun without that stress. As another woman points out, it is important to feel “safe” to give your opinion. Partners should be the joy in one’s life, not the cartoon cloud of rain soaking you.
3. Saying No to Adult Relations
Saying “no” is a complete sentence. It doesn’t need explaining or justification. Many women point out that the ability to say no to intimacy without feeling scared is surprising. One lady says it’s mind-blowing to say no without retaliation or whining to wear them down. Browbeating a partner into adult relations is not normal, healthy, or acceptable. Both partners need to respect each other’s needs and boundaries.
4. Communicating Problems
Women express shock that in healthy relationships, partners encourage communication. Partners do not threaten to leave every time. Many did not realize that it is okay to talk about problems. For couples to thrive, talking about issues, big or small, is essential. Once communication is shut down, their coupling is on its last leg.
5. No Yelling or Insults
It’s shocking to some ladies that great relationships do not include yelling or name-calling. Experiencing verbal abuse is not normal. One lucky lady said communication is easy because there’s no mocking or screaming.
Someone else points out that seven years into her relationship, neither of them has ever yelled at the other. Yelling is another form of intimidation meant to silence or frighten. Always opt out and seek healthier partners if that occurs. Only yelling should be during karaoke, birthdays, scary rides, and the like.
6. Encouragement and Praise
One woman points it’s unusual to receive encouragement and praise from their partner. This is sadly true; some partners think deriding goals and dreams is their job. Another word for this is contrarian. Many partners make it their mission to debate, put down, and argue every little thing. It’s not normal or healthy. A partner is your biggest cheerleader.
7. Silence Is Golden
The silent treatment is a form of abuse. The goal is punishing the partner for what they said, did, or did not do. It’s refreshing, a lady said, not to experience the silent treatment in her in a healthy relationship. In healthy relationships, the term “comfortable silence” exists. There is no anxiety or animosity in the silence. The pair sit happily in blissful quiet.
8. Wanting To Go Home
A contributor expresses that when a relationship flourishes, you relish going home to your loved one. She always went out to avoid heading home. However, “for the first time in years,” she prefers being home. Home is a respite from the world.
9. Beautiful as You Are
Part of a healthy relationship is accepting the partner’s physical appearance. It’s the “warts and all.” Not experiencing ridicule for their features, weight, or hair is a notable change to one commenter. Another woman tacks that feeling loved and not like she “let him down” is a significant difference.
10. Support During Tough Times
Emotional support is another critical component of healthy relationships. Partners help provide comfort during hard times. A woman experiencing depression spoke with her boyfriend, who actively listened to her, even offering to travel to see her. As someone else puts it, being present to console instead of “mansplain” helps build a feeling of safety.
This thread inspired this post.
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