Am I Wrong for Removing My Kid’s Bedroom Door Because She Won’t Stop Slamming It?
Teenagers, funny and bright, often have the best one-liners and make you question your choices as an adult. But with all the changes they go through, there’s always bound to be a tantrum or two, which can drive even the most patient person crazy.
A mother, whom we’ll call Mary, was forced to take extreme measures to deal with her teenage daughter, who wouldn’t listen. Here’s what happened.
Mary has three kids, Maggie, the main culprit; Levi, and Charlie. Maggie is 14 and the only girl and eldest of all her kids. Levi and Charlie, the younger brothers, share a bedroom, while Maggie has a room all to herself.
Maggie is just like every other kid her age. She does her homework, helps with the chores with minimal nagging, bugs her brothers just the right amount, and is an overall great kid. The main problem with her is her bedroom door.
When Maggie gets up to do anything that involves using the door, she slams it shut. When she’s going to the bathroom, she slams it on her way in and out. When she’s heading out in the morning? Bang! Forgets her sweater? Double bang. The worse part is she only slams her door and no other door in the house.
This little habit of hers gets upsetting and annoying as it startles and wakes everyone else in the house when she does it. Mary had politely spoken to her about it, trying to get her to become more aware and stop it, but Maggie didn’t seem to care much.
The Ultimate Tantrum
Mary tried being more forceful about it, telling Maggie there would be consequences if she didn’t shut the door more appropriately. Still, her words seemed to fall on deaf ears.
The last straw came on a work night when Mary was expected to get up early; Maggie had slammed the door at four in the morning, again waking up the entire house. Mary hurried down to Maggie’s room and knocked on the door, only to get a very aggressive “What?” from Maggie.
Flexing her self-control, Mary calmly told Maggie that if she slammed the door again, she would come home and find the door gone. Maggie got upset and began yelling, slamming the door five times as hard as possible.
By the time Maggie was back from school that Friday, Mary and her husband had removed the door and replaced it with a heavy curtain over the door frame. As expected, Maggie came home and freaked out, calling Mary and her father emotionally abusive and accusing them of being emotionally abusive.
Maggie spent the entire weekend upset with both of them. When Mary spoke to Maggie’s grandmother about it, the older woman said Mary had overreacted. Mary doesn’t think so, as they value each other’s privacy.
They had hung up a heavy curtain with velcro pieces to ensure the opaque curtain was always in place. While Maggie still has her privacy, she can’t slam a curtain because, let’s face it, it’s a lot less dramatic and quieter.
Mary offered her an easy out, offering to put the door back in place as long as Maggie agreed to respect the no-slamming rule. Here’s how the internet responded.
What People Think
One person has a simple plan to get Maggie to change and completely supports Mary’s actions. They think she should let Maggie sulk for a week or two, and when Maggie agrees to the rule, she can put the door back in.
If Maggie can’t hold up her end of the bargain, she suggests taking the door out again and for even longer. Rinse and repeat until she’s treating the door like hotel staff.
Another mom, like most in this thread, believes that Mary has superb parenting skills. However, actions have consequences, and while it would be cheaper to install door silencers, they must teach a lesson to ensure that Maggie knows what’s right and does the right thing.
Mary handled this like a pro and ensured her daughter still had her privacy, but she got the point across. She may see this as harsh, but she seems inconsiderate for refusing to listen to her mother when she repeatedly spoke to her about the door slamming.
Do you think she went too far by taking the door out, or do you think Maggie deserved it? What would you have done differently?
This thread inspired this article.