Men are a complicated species…said no woman ever. However, modern men are fighting back and bringing some home truths to the fore.
An online forum discusses some facts women need to hear about men if they want to understand boyfriends, husbands, and buddies a little better. Here are some takeaways from the discussion.
1. We All Need Our Space
I saw a video short recently where an estranged wife films her husband sitting alone in the garden every night, burning wood. She is stunned why he prefers sitting quietly for hours in the dark to watching TV with her.
“Sometimes, the man in your life will just need to be alone to clear his mind,” comes as the first piece of advice. “It’s just his need for some momentary peace.”
2. Boys Need Their Bros Too
This theme is present in another revelation that guys would sometimes rather be with friends than their women. “It’s nothing against you,” is one offering. “But if you choose to deprive us of the others in our lives, we will resent you for it.”
Some girls will be asking, “Why can’t I come too?” To them, I say, picture your boyfriend asking to come shopping with you and your girlfriends.
3. Take Something Up, Already
One feeling sweeping the discourse is that female other halves don’t have enough hobbies or play enough sports. Blokes don’t need convincing to play a round of golf or go for a run, whereas some women might.
“I want my (partner) SO [sic] to have her own hobbies and friends,” begs one reader. “If she can’t understand that, then we’re not a good match in the first place.”
4. Isolation Is Abuse
I have friends who became involved with a controlling girlfriend — it isn’t pretty. There are tells for a friend in this place: never coming out, or if he does, he is constantly messaging her on the phone and reluctant to commit to anything. One commenter goes as far as saying it is abuse. Naturally, this goes both ways.
5. Fess Up When You Mess Up
The idea that women need to be more accountable is prominent in the discussion. “You have to be willing to hold yourself accountable for your actions,” warns an enlightened online citizen. I admit I cannot fathom my wife’s inability to confess to being wrong — about anything, even when tangibly true. I have given up using reason on this.
6. Looks Fade Over Time
“You have to bring something of value to the table (relationship) other than your presence and intimacy,” asserts a wisened sage. Men must also consider this when choosing a partner. Looks fade over time, so love, and teamwork is more important.
7. Gossip Girls
It is hard to find a girl who doesn’t gossip, but there is gossip — and then, there is gossip. A woman who is constantly dishing on their best friends’ innermost relationship secrets may risk losing their partner’s trust. This behavior might be a sign she is doing the same about their relationship.
8. No Second Place
Various members of the male congregation agree that being undervalued makes relationships impossible. Nobody likes to feel they are a “second prize.” One contributor compared this to a movie where the man keeps hope “for that one moment…where they suddenly remember I’ve [sic] been there the whole time.”
9. No Pain, No Gain
Men with successful careers work long, painful hours to reach their goals. But ladies who want a comfortable lifestyle have some sound advice from one gentleman: “You need to decide what you’re comfortable with — more money or more time. Very few fortunate people have both.”
10. Men Don’t Care About Women’s Money
Equality is complicated. Single women earn more money than ever, so when a bro says women “date above” their financial status, a backlash is imminent. “So being able to provide what you want for yourself is toxic?” asks one nonplussed female. You can imagine the back-and-forth that follows.
This thread inspired this post.
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