Turning the Tables: 15 Sharp-witted Replies to 'Why Are You Still Single?

Ever been cornered with that ever-so-personal question, “Why are you still single?” Trust us, you’re not alone. From the virtual corridors of a popular internet forum, a wave of brilliant, sassy, and heartwarming responses has emerged. Discover the myriad ways people choose to tackle this intimate inquiry, from the hilariously witty to the raw and honest. Prepare to be entertained, empowered, and maybe even inspired to craft your own perfect comeback!

1. We Had Trouble Finding Toilet Paper Too

It stands to reason that someone trying to find “the right one” in the last few years might also have a long hard road. You could wait six months if you had to replace a car part in the previous two years. When asked why they were single, one person responded, “Supply-chain problems.”

2. Keep Things Simple

This answer is the classic response to any nosy question. When asked why you are still single? Just say, “Why not?” Users pointed out that it flips the script and puts the responsibility to answer on the questioner. Suddenly, the heat is on them.

3. Look Who’s Talking

A simple reply to this “off the charts level of rude” question is this: because I only meet people like you. It forces the person to question what kind of person they are when confronted with their rudeness. They deserve that burn.

4. Honesty Is the Best Policy

angry teenager — Image Credit: Shutterstock.

You may not be interested in turning the tables. Instead, you may like to be honest about what kind of prospect you are. In that case, say, “Because I have raging personality flaws that I’m unwilling to work on.” No fibs are necessary!

5. Surprise!

So you just got asked the question that is only slightly less intrusive than your family asking you when you will get married. You need a comeback quickly! Here’s one for you. “Just lucky, I guess!” It’s guaranteed to catch them off their guard.

6. Do It the Alicia Silverstone Way

Alicia Silverstone in Clueless — Image Credit: Paramount.

Here is a moment when your knowledge of movie quotes comes in handy. Remember the wisdom of Cher (Alicia Silverstone) from the movie Clueless. Cher was more than just single. She had never had a boyfriend. Her iconic response was, “You see how picky I am about my shoes, and they only go on my feet!”

7. In This Economy

This one works no matter what the status of the economy. Many people have no idea what is going on in that sector. This is an excellent excuse for why you aren’t dating. Dating costs money. Finances are more important than dating. “Have you seen the economy?”

8. Bad Company

A particular French saying would come in extremely handy in situations like this. The philosopher and playwright from the 15th century, Pierre Gringoire, came up with it. It’s been around a long time but should be more popular. The phrase is il vaut mieux être seul que mal accompagné or “it’s better to be alone than in bad company.”

9. Cat Moms and Dads Unite or Not

You can always point out that you have other and more pressing interests. One example was, “My cat takes up most of my free time,” and another was, “I’m not single. I have a motorcycle.” Both cats and motorcycles take much time out of your week, honestly.

10. Consider Your Life Choices

Another way to put the onus back on the rude question-asker is to say, “Because unlike you, I’m happy with my life choices.” You are telling them that you have the presence of mind to know that you have made the right choices in life for yourself and to imply that maybe they have not.

11. A Correction

But what if you aren’t single? Technically, you are not single if you are divorced and don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Forever. This fine distinction is one way to correct those people who would love to label you as being single.

12. People Make You Nervous

It’s like the person asking this question is causing you distress, and maybe they are. One poster said they responded that they have social anxiety. Social anxiety can make making new friends or starting new relationships very difficult. It’s real; it is a legit excuse if it troubles your life.

13. Mind Your Business

upset woman — Image Credit: Shutterstock.

Much of the trouble in the world happens because people pay more attention to what other people are doing than what they are doing. To improve the world, people could mind their own business. A forum member said in response, “None of your business.” Another more creative user said their answer is, “It’s because of Narnia. Narnia? Narnia business.”

14. Take It From a Grandmother

This retort has the structure of an aphorism, but it seems incredibly effective. One person said they heard a grandmother say, “All the ones I wanted I couldn’t get, and all the ones I could get I didn’t want.” A straightforward observation of how things went in your life. Hard to argue with too.

15. Can I Get My Latte, Please

woman drinking coffee — Image Credit: Shutterstock.

This one is more of a joke, but still, it’s pretty good. A coffee lover stated that their answer was this: I have no idea why you are asking me this weirdly specific question. Do I know you? I’m to get a frappuccino, not to be badgered by a Starbucks barista. Honestly, this might happen more to the baristas, but it is funny.

This thread inspired this post.

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