Wife Sided With Her Friend Instead of Her Husband Over Humiliating “Joke” – Was She Right?
Announcing a pregnancy to your friends is usually a happy time. Still, recently on a beloved Internet forum, a pregnant woman named Mildred told how her announcement didn’t go so well. It caused a problem between her and her husband when she did not defend him when one of her friends said something cruel.
Married for Three Years
She has been married to her husband, Mike, for three years, and they discovered she was pregnant four months ago. Of course, they told their family the happy news, but Mike requested they hold off on telling their friends for a while. It was impossible for some of their friends not to learn the secret as time passed.
Mildred’s best friend JJ was one of the few that didn’t know since she had moved three hours away and no longer visited as often. However, the two women had known each other and been best friends for sixteen years, so they had an extensive history. It was tough for Mildred to keep that secret from JJ, but she honored her husband’s wishes “this time.”
She’s Got Jokes
According to Mildred, JJ is a “huge jokester” and loves to “roast” Mike, who is not appreciative of JJ’s “jokes.” Her husband is unhappy about the situation, possibly because Mildred has chosen to enjoy JJ’s behavior and not defend her husband or ask her friend to stop.
It might have been why Mike was reluctant to inform their friends, for fear of being the butt of the joke again during this joyful time in their marriage.
Maybe Not the Best Time for a “Joke”
When JJ decided to visit, Mildred surprised her with a gift-wrapped box that said, “You’re an aunty now!” with a baby’s onesie inside. JJ started screaming and crying at the news and hugged Mildred in a very emotional display. After that, she gave Mike a “huge hug” and said, “Dang Mike, didn’t know you could do that.”
Understandably, Mike was not pleased about this “joke” and that everyone in the room laughed at his expense. He replied to JJ, “You know, this is why you were the last one to know about this.”
The buoyant JJ was a little hurt and asked her why Mildred kept the information from her. While Mildred tried to explain, the friend group dissipated, and the gathering ended abruptly.
After everyone left, Mildred got angry at her husband and blamed him for what happened. Still, she wondered if she was the person in the wrong even though she said that she felt that nothing that was that offensive was said and that JJ was joking “most of the time.”
Mike replied that he was tired of the jokes at his expense, that JJ doesn’t take things seriously, and that Mildred never takes his side.
How Did They Respond
The majority of the responses came in on the side of Mike. People noted that Mildred said that JJ enjoys “roasting” Mike but not both of them, that Mildred was enabling her friend’s bullying of her husband, and that she should apologize and take a good look at her actions.
They mentioned that since Mildred knew that Mike did not like the jokes, she already knew how uncomfortable it made him feel.
There are only so many times that you can poke a stick at someone and not expect to have someone respond. Users agreed that Mike’s response was not kind, but after dealing with JJ’s bullying for a while, what else did Mildred expect him to do?
She wouldn’t tell her best friend to lay off the man she married and was having a child with. However, she immediately criticized him when he clapped back at JJ.
During the discussion, an essential question for Mildred was why she kept taking the side of someone verbally abusing the person she claimed to love. People pointed out that jokes are often a way to say something you want to say without censure.
Others stated that Mildred lives vicariously through JJ’s rough treatment of others and uses the fact that she isn’t saying mean things herself as a way to escape responsibility for her feelings.
Some Did Not Approve of Mike
Some defended JJ and Mildred, but they were in the minority. A few thought that maybe Mike was jealous of their friendship or that he should toughen up. They made excuses that were similar to the ones Mildred had made herself. Finally, however, Mildred admitted she was in the wrong.
She Decided To Defend Her Husband
Even though it might cost her JJ’s friendship, Mildred firmly told JJ that her behavior was unacceptable in a meeting with JJ and Mike to mediate the situation. Mike commented on JJ’s lifestyle, telling her she should be more serious and “get a boyfriend and a real job.”
However, JJ respectfully responded that how she lived her life wasn’t anyone’s business. Mildred vowed that she and Mike would work on their relationship and communication through counseling.
This thread inspired this post.