What You Need to Know About Emotional Labor

Have you ever felt, much like Jennifer Aniston’s character in The Breakup, that you didn’t just want your partner to do the dishes; you wanted them to want to do the dishes? If so, you were likely dealing with an imbalance of something called emotional labor.

The concept of emotional labor is essential to a happy, healthy household ecosystem. When we fail to recognize its importance, we open the door to frustration, exhaustion, conflict, and resentment.

What is Emotional Labor?

There is a hidden cost to managing a household that once had no name but now goes by many. For today’s purposes, we’re calling it emotional labor. Others have also called it invisible labor or mental load.

Problems With Emotional Labor

The negative effects of unbalanced emotional labor can cause significant psychological distress within a household. When one person bears too much mental load for everyone, they will likely feel emotionally exhausted, overwhelmed, and anxious.

One effective way to illustrate emotional labor is with the Conceptualization, Planning, and Execution (CPE) model, which Eve Rodsky coined in her book, Fair Play. The CPE model breaks the workload of a task down into three components:

Conceptualization, Planning, and Execution

Conceptualization: Recognizing or remembering the need to complete a task Planning: Determining how best to meet that need Execution: Following through on the plan and completing the task

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