Emotional Labor: 4 Tips for Sharing the Mental Load

Have you ever felt, much like Jennifer Aniston’s character in The Breakup, that you didn’t just want your partner to do the dishes; you wanted them to want to do the dishes? If so, you were likely dealing with an imbalance of something called emotional labor.

The concept of emotional labor is essential to a happy, healthy household ecosystem. When we fail to recognize its importance, we open the door to frustration, exhaustion, conflict, and resentment.

What Is Emotional Labor?

There is a hidden cost to managing a household that once had no name but now goes by many. For today’s purposes, we’re calling it emotional labor.

1

Talk about it

Unfortunately, awareness of emotional labor does not immediately remove the negativity it can cause, but it does give us a language to identify, discuss, and later attack these challenges. 

2

Divide the c, p, and e

When it comes to building mindfulness and a positive relationship with emotional labor, it may help to break each problem down into components: conceptualization, planning, and execution.

3

Play to each person’s strength

In your family conversations about emotional labor, you may discover diverse preferences and strengths.

4

Allow room for discomfort

Rebalancing the workload so everyone has a fair role is essential, but it’s not an immediate shift. It will likely cause some discomfort and growing pains along the way.

Sharing the Load Takes Time, Patience, and Communication

Emotional labor is a responsibility everyone has, though as families, we don’t always know how to talk about it and share it appropriately.

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