5 of the Most Hilarious Breakup Lines We’ve Ever Heard

The pick-up line is a fading art form these days. With the introduction of online dating and the pivot towards more virtual lifestyles, anybody born after 1990 has probably never had to use verbal charm to woo a potential date.

The question: If people used break-up lines instead of pick-up lines, what would they be? 

An Inverse Request

Here are the top-5-rated break-up lines from this discourse.  

A seismic burn with this line: “Are we tectonic plates?” asks another commenter. “Because we’re drifting apart.”

Earthshakingly Cold

“We need to cover more ground, so we should split up,” writes one contributor. 

Hollywood Tropes

The punchline: “I don’t wanna see you again for another 74 years.” Maybe they should choose another event like Venus transitioning the Sun — this will never happen again!

A Meteoric Putdown

“Hey girl, are you a newspaper?” begins this phrase. “Because there’s a new issue with you every darn day.” 

It’s Black-and-White 

Racing Away From This Relationship

This one works perfectly if there is an accurate understanding of its purpose. “Babe, are you a checkered flag?” jokes our ending one-liner. “Because we’re finished.”

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